What remains after the story is the relationship

Why It Matters

Projects end. Reports get filed. But people shared something. Trust was built or broken. Expectations were created—explicitly or not. What happens to those relationships when the formal work closes? Do you follow up? Do you let people know what their stories contributed? Do you stay accountable when there is no longer a deliverable requiring it?

Extraction is when you take and leave. Relationship means staying connected—not forever, but longer than the project required. It means caring for what was entrusted to you. It means recognizing that some things take longer than any project can hold: some stories need years before they're ready, some meanings only emerge later, some changes move slower than grant cycles allow.

This work asks us to release the expectation that we will see everything, that learning will be complete, that outcomes will become known. We do our part carefully, and accept that understanding will keep arriving after we've left the room.

The orientation that runs through all of this is tending. Listening deeply. Staying present. Caring for what people have trusted you with. Coming from a place of tenderness, even when the work is hard. 

What This Looks Like

A storytelling initiative runs for two years, gathers hundreds of stories, produces a beautiful archive—and then the funding ends. The website goes dark. The relationships dissolve. Five years later, community members are asked to share their stories again, by a new organization, starting from scratch. What was built didn't last because no one tended it. Contrast this with an initiative that, from the start, asks: what will hold these stories and relationships after we're gone? Who will tend them?

Try This

At the start of any project, ask: What happens when this phase ends? Who will tend the stories? Who will tend the relationships? When setting timelines and expectations, ask: What time horizon does this work actually require?

  • Relationship Continuity Protocol

  • Living Stories Framework (addresses artifacts as waystations needing ongoing stewardship)

Watch For

Treating the "deliverable" as the end point. Also watch for declaring success—or failure—too early. Narrative change happens over decades, not grant cycles.